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The Hunger Days… When Your Appetite Won’t Go Away

Do you ever wake up with ravenous hunger that doesn’t seem to go away, no matter what you do or eat?!  Those days when you can’t get food off your brain and it seems to take captive your thoughts?  Maybe you eat a meal only to find you are hungry shortly thereafter.  I get those days too and they are NOT FUN! But, not only are they dreadful, they can be downright scary, especially to anyone that is losing weight or has lost weight and is trying to keep it off.  Our ‘security gland’ is triggered and we can easily feel out of control because we may not know HOW to turn off the hunger signal.

For some, these days might occur periodically, around or during their menstrual cycle and for others, it might blindside them and happen without any forewarning or signals- when they least expect it.  The most frustrating part I find is that these days of endless hunger have the potential to knock us out of some healthy self-talk and thought patterns and back into a cycle of dieting.  That is because when this happens, we can automatically begin thinking about what we have to do to self-control the situation and go back to what we used to do when we felt out of control.  For most of us, that means tellings ourselves “No”, restricting and trying to barter with ourselves that if we can go a specific amount of time, then we can reward ourselves with eating.

Let me honest and real- I don’t like these days any more than you do.  Sometimes I am incredibly frustrated and other times even mad that what I am eating is not satisfying my grumbling stomach.  I don’t want to think about food all day long and on some of these days, I do.

But in reality, I believe that trying to reign in our hunger, pretend it’s not there, ignore it or just get mad at its lingering presence is not only ineffective but actually the opposite approach we should have.  I believe our bodies are complex and amazing!  They give us signals all the time, but we can abuse them by ignoring these signals or overriding them.  Instead of getting mad at the feeling of hunger, give thanks that your body communicates information to you! Have you ever thought that they are not wrong but right?  Maybe they are reminders to nourish your body, feed it wholesome foods and beverages and celebrate the beauty and amazing systems that work intrinsically in a beautiful dance.

When we consider other body signals like pain, inflammation, dizziness, swelling, lethargy and more, we want to be aware of these so we can take appropriate action.  But when hunger comes, if it is not predictable or what we want to feel, it is so very easy to demonize it, like it is the bad guy that comes to steal our victory.  But not so!

Hunger can feel like an unwelcome house guest that has moved into your abode and you can’t kick out, but the truth is that it is simply a signal, a physiological signal, and we, yes, you and I, get to determine the response.  Will you choose to allow it to ruin your day, develop a bad attitude or get mad?  I have.  But as I have continued to learn more about the true meaning of mindfulness and valuing my beautifully imperfect body, I have begun to be more kind to myself and change my self-talk.

Here are a few things I do on my “hunger days” and how I turn an event that has the potential to derail my healthful habits into an opportunity to strengthen them:

O1. Drink Plenty of Water

I have come to realize that sometimes I “think” I am hungry, when in reality, I am thirsty.  If you feel empty or find yourself thinking about food, you may benefit from drinking 8-16 ounces of water first and waiting 15-30 minutes before deciding to browse the pantry or frig for a snack.  While many healthcare professionals encourage the consumption of at least 64 oz water per day, drinking as much as half your body weight in ounces may be necessary depending on the season of the year, exercise routines, sweat and physical exertion on the job.  Get a water bottle and fill it up several times during the day.  I have also found that I really enjoy herbal teas, hot and cold, for some flavor instead of pure water throughout the day.  This article will give you even more refreshing low-calorie beverage ideas, especially if you don’t want water!

 02. Include Lean Protein At All Meals and Snacks

Sometimes hunger is fueled by inadequate protein at meals.  You can include lean animal protein (fish, poultry, beef), low-fat dairy (greek yogurt, cottage cheese, cheese, milk, kefir) OR plant protein (beans, edamame/soy beans, tofu, tempeh, nuts).  If I grab a snack of whole grain crackers, I am bound to get hungry within a few minutes without the protein.  Protein takes longer for digestion as opposed to carbohydrate and therefore has the potential to keep you satisfied much longer.  So, make protein a priority!  For more than a dozen healthy snack ideas, check out this post and download the FREE PRINTABLE at the end- No more boring snacks!

 

03. Increase the Veggies

While crunchy carbs (pretzels, crackers, cereal, chips) are easy and convenient snacks, the calories add up quickly, even those that are whole grain or made with beans and lentils.  Instead, allow yourself endless veggies (raw or cooked). If you like dip, try adding some dry ranch or herb and spice blend into low-fat yogurt for a low-calorie dip that is rich in protein, calcium and vitamin D.  I also like to make a big salad for at least 1 meal each day and load it up with a variety of colorful vegetables.  There is no guilt or shame in supplying the body with nourishing vitamins, minerals, and phytonutrients from veggies.  These are some super easy ways to add veggies to meals your family already loves.  I remember working with a patient that talked about eating a big bowl of spaghetti squash with low-fat marinara sauce on her hungry days.  She felt incredibly satisfied at the end of the meal! Eat up!

 

04. Get Out of the House

If seeing the kitchen or lunchbox is a trigger for you, after eating a nourishing meal, go for a walk, run errands, clean out a closet or focus your attention on others.  There is something incredibly satisfying in serving and loving on people.  Maybe your soul and spirit need some nourishing too!

 

05. Speak Truth

Find a scripture, verse, phrase, poem, song or quote that you want to meditate on that reminds you that you are valuable, have an incredible body and are one-of-a-kind.  Maybe you need to write or type out this encouragement and put it in spot (or several spots) that you will see often to remind you of your worth.

 

06. Remind Yourself that this is Only a Day

Tomorrow will be different.  Next week will not be the same. Your hunger is not your enemy.  You don’t have to fight back.  It is simply a signal.  You choose your response.

Make a commitment to respond to your body with love and kindness, for it is only one you will have. 

 

TRUTH: “Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! It is amazing to think about. Your workmanship is marvelous—and how well I know it.”  –Psalm 139:14 (TLB)

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Recipes
Lightened Up Mexican Lasagna

Tex-Mex night is getting a facelift and your family will never know it’s been lightened up!  This Mexican Lasagna is ah-mazing and doesn’t disappoint!  Slightly spicy, gooey, savory and everything you love about Mexican food is all combined in this easy to put together lasagna.  It provides ample leftovers to save you dinner prep on another night and it is just as good the second time around!

After I had my first daughter, a kind woman from church brought us dinner- Mexican Lasagna and salad.  Since that day, I have been obsessed with finding a fantastic recipe that was full of flavor and still ‘figure friendly.’  After tweaking and modifying this recipe by Katherine Howley, my husband reassured me that I had found it!  It is killer delicious and simple to make.  We also love that it provides our family with leftovers for lunch or dinner several times and can easily be frozen and reheated.

Seriously, your family is going to love this recipe!  Serve with this Mexican Cauliflower Rice for a perfectly balanced meal!

 

Lightened Up Mexican Lasagna

INGREDIENTS

1 lb 92% (or leaner) ground chicken

6 whole wheat tortillas

15oz can fat-free refried beans

4oz can chopped green chilies

2 (10oz) cans enchilada sauce

8oz low-fat sour cream (or 2% plain greek yogurt)

8oz cheddar or colby jack cheese (low-fat), shredded

 

SPICE BLEND

1 tablespoon chili powder

1 ½ tsp cumin

½ tsp garlic powder

½ tsp paprika

1/4 tsp kosher salt (optional)

½ tsp black pepper

 

DIRECTIONS

Spray a 9×13 baking dish with oil (I use a Misto) and preheat oven to 375 degrees.  Brown ground chicken in nonstick skillet; drain any visible fat and then stir in all spices and diced green chilis.  While the meat is cooking, cut the tortillas in half and open cans and containers of remaining ingredients.

Spread 1/2 cup of enchilada sauce in bottom of pan and layer in 4 tortillas halves to cover (see picture for how to layer).  Top them with half the can of beans in little dollops and spread around tortillas.  Do the same for half of the sour cream.  Then add 1/2 of the meat mixture, ⅔ cup enchilada sauce and 1/3 of the shredded cheese.  Repeat this same layer- tortillas, beans, sour cream, meat, sauce, and cheese.  Top with the last 4 tortilla halves and then 2/3 cup of sauce and remaining 1/3 of cheese.

Bake in the oven for about 20 minutes or until lasagna begins to bubble on the sides and the top begins to brown.  Serve warm.

SERVINGS: 12

 

TIPS & TRICKS

  • To reduce the sodium further, eliminate the 1/4 tsp of kosher salt from the seasonings added to the chicken.  ALSO, review brands of enchilada sauce, green chilies, and refried beans at the grocery store as some have moderate sodium and others quite high.
  • Warming the beans for a few seconds in the microwave (not in the metal can) with a few tablespoons of water can make them looser and easier to spread.

 

SERVING IDEAS

  • Top with chopped cilantro, low-fat sour cream, low-fat greek yogurt, or additional enchilada sauce
  • Mexican Cauliflower Rice is the perfect vegetable side!

Mexican Cauliflower Rice

NUTRITION PER SERVING

Calories 286

Fat 11.5g

Saturated Fat 5g

Cholesterol 56mg

Sodium 733mg

Potassium 42mg

Carbohydrate 26g

Fiber 4g

Sugar 3g

Protein 18g

 

Grab your grocery list and add these ingredients!  On Tex-Mex night, your family will give you rave reviews!

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Health
Enjoy the Labor Day BBQ- Guilt Free

Parties and gatherings are the perfect way to spend your day off.  But, they can also be a source of anxiety, guilt and negative emotions about food and self.  If you are working on some health goals, events can be one of the easiest ways to derail your progress and load up your plate with a serving of guilt, lethargy, doubt.  Don’t give up or throw in the towel.  These are some of my top tips for enjoying your day without hindering your progress.

 

Anticipate the Party Food

While you may not know the exact menu, most individuals are able to anticipate or guess the types of foods that will be available based on the party theme, date, time and hosts.  By simply visualizing the types of foods you believe will be at the party, you can go ahead and begin prioritizing the dishes or types of foods that are important and unimportant to you.  For example, if you are not into desserts, you may decide to skip out on the sweets and give higher priority to eating some BBQ ribs or brisket or other food that tends to be higher in fat and calories.

Visualizing a scenario is a technique that a therapist I know has talked about in a group meeting.  She has mentioned that it is a good way to remove or reduce the emotional response “in the moment” and helps you troubleshoot potential stumbling blocks.

Too often we play “victim” and claim that we had no control over what was served at the gathering.  We use it as an excuse to forgo self-discipline and consume without thought.  Instead, begin to think through what you know about the event and anticipate the mouth-watering dishes before you actually arrive.

 

Maintain Usual Meal Times

BBQs, picnics, parties… may be planned around a meal time (lunch or dinner), but often there is food out and available for consumption before and after the actual meal. These are moments when significant calories can be consumed, especially when we don’t have a plan.

To avoid mindless eating/snacking during the party, choose a time that you are going to eat (often this is identified by the host) and then whether you will need a healthy snack or mini meal several hours before that meal time. For instance, if the party begins at 3 pm but the meal will be served around 6 pm, plan to either eat a small snack upon arrival or before you arrive and then plan NOT to eat anything else until the actual meal time.  By following this simple plan, you can save yourself 100s if not 1000s of calories from snacking on the munchies!!  No joke!!

Once you make your decisions about what time you will eat, then determine how you will spend your time during the party or gathering:

  • Pool fun
  • Chatting with friends and family
  • Getting to know some new friends
  • Networking- you never know!!
  • Games- ping pong, yard games, basketball, volleyball, kickball.  No games to join?  Start up a game- be the proactive person!
  • Helping cook or prepare the tables- sometimes keeping busy preparing items helps us avoid eating during that time

If needed, set an alarm on your watch, phone, etc to alert you when it is time to eat.

 

Eat Regular Size Portions

After you choose a time you are going to eat, serve yourself portions you would at one of your regular meals.  Don’t starve yourself so that you have “room” to load up your plate.  This fact remains constant- every time we overeat, we feel poorly afterward.  It doesn’t matter if you skipped a meal in advance or even ate light the day before, if you overeat, you will feel bad- tired, bloated, lethargic- and often it carries emotional guilt, shame, personal dislike.

It is easy to eat large portions with the size plates available today.  Common disposable plate brands have regular dinner size plates that are 10-12” in diameter! This is the size of serving platters several decades ago. Look for a smaller plate, maybe the dessert size plate, if available.  If smaller plates are not available, use the Volumetrics approach on the large plate to prevent loading up on high-calorie foods- ½ plate of non-starchy veggies, ¼ plate of complex carbs and healthy starches, ¼ plate of lean protein.  Choose the best you can to fit within each category.

It is also important to make the decision ahead of time that you will only eat 1 plate of food.  While this may sound very simple, giving yourself the flexibility or opportunity to eat more after serving yourself regular size portions is giving an open door for over-consumption.  Keep that door closed. Eat 1 plate of food and don’t go back for seconds.

 

Choose Your Treat

If you could choose any 1 food or dish that you really look forward to, what would it be?  The answers to this question would vary astronomically depending on who you ask- and that is OK!  Treats are fine to enjoy on occasion and a party is a good occasion, but here are a few thoughts:

  • Choose only 1 treat
  • Keep it portion controlled
  • Eat it in the presence of others (no secretive/hidden eating)

What is really important to you and what is not?  For example, you may find your Aunt Sally’s potato casserole out of this world and a special treat you look forward to every single year.  That’s fine!  Choose to have a small serving (no more than ¼ plate) of this treat food and skip the pie or bread or another high calorie, nutrient deficient food.  If Uncle Todd’s ribs are to die for, then kindly decline the fried chicken and keep the portion to no more than ¼ of the plate.

There is no shame or guilt in planning a treat.  In fact, you can thoroughly enjoy the treat if you DO plan it.

 

Bring a Healthy Dish

This does not mean salad… although this kale salad and this quinoa salad are both pretty amazing!  If salad is boring to you, then leave it at home.  Choose a delicious item to bring and if not asked to bring a dish, offer anyway.  This is your perfect opportunity to bring a delicious recipe that tastes amazing but is also nourishing.  Bring a food or dish that you enjoy eating and makes you feel great every time you do.

Here are a few ideas for picnic worthy recipes:

  • Cole slaw– there are many recipes low in fat and some even add chopped apple/fruit, nuts for some added crunch; lighten up by using reduced fat mayo and/or yogurt OR find a vinegar based slaw recipe like this one!
  • Veggie skewers– make these up before arriving and marinate in Italian dressing or your own special marinade; ask the ‘grill master’ to put them on the grill before dinner. Grilling adds addictive smoky flavor AND it goes incredibly well with any grilled meats.
  • Fruit skewers with yogurt dip– a wonderful alternative to heavy, high sugar desserts. Sweet fruit is the perfect way to cap off your meal and very easy to throw together.

Citrus Asian Cole Slaw

 

Plan Alcohol Consumption Before Arriving

How much will you allow yourself to drink?  How will you keep up with the “how much”?  In what ways does your consumption affect your judgment and choices, particularly with food?

  • 12 oz Beer averages 55-200 calories.
  • 5oz wine averages 115 calories
  • 1oz liquor has an average of 65 calories (and this is often mixed with high-calorie juice, sodas, and syrups!)
  • 12oz hard cider can have as much as 250 calories

If you choose to drink, set a limit and keep it.  Don’t let a couple extra mixed drinks or beers lead you astray.  Stay focused.  Stick to your goals. Choose wisely.

As you kick back, relax and enjoy some recreational fun, celebrate your hard work and achievements by honoring yourself with some behaviors that will nourish your body and soul.

No guilt.

No shame.

No work.

Enjoy!

 

TRUTH: That every man should eat and drink and see and enjoy the good of all his labor—it is the gift of God.  —Ecclesiastes 3:13 (AMP)

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Recipes
Killer Vegetable Recipes Cooked on the Grill

Grilling season is still going!  Outdoor cooking is a great way keep the heat exactly where it should be- outside!  Some individuals hunt for the perfect cut of meat to place on those open flames, going from market to market until it is found.  But have you tried grilling veggies?!  With a variety of flavors, textures, and colors among vegetables, there are simply endless possibilities for the recipes that can be created.  The slightly smoky flavor enhances the sweetness within the vegetable creating a merry pairing of flavors.

For some inspired and colorful dishes to have at your next picnic or BBQ, check out these healthy grilled vegetable recipes, all created by Registered Dietitian Nutritionists and dietetic students!

 

Summer Grilled Zucchini with Feta and Mint

Jennifer Hunt, RDN, LD at Healthy Inspiration

 

Grilled Fruit and Vegetable Kabobs

Jenna Braddock, MSH, RDN, CSSD, LD/N at Make Healthy Easy

 

Grilled Mixed Vegetables

Shahzadi Devje RD CDE MSc at Desi-licious RD

 

Grilled Corn and Poblano Salad with Honey-Lime Dressing

Holley Grainger, MS, RD at Holley’s Kitchen

 

Potato Satay with Almond Butter Lime Sauce

Chef Catherine Brown, Organic Grower, Culinary Nutritionist,

 

Grilled Asparagus with Lemongrass Garlic Rub

Amy Gorin at Amy Gorin Nutrition

Don’t have lemongrass?  No problem!  Use the zest of 1 lemon.

 

Cheddar Portabella Burgers with Charred Red Onion

Jenny Shea Rawn MS, MPH, RD at My Cape Cod Kitchen

 

 

 

Simple Grilled Artichokes

Sharon Palmer, RDN at The Plant Powered Dietitian

 

Grilled Zucchini with Mint, Lemon & Feta

Erica Julson, MS, RD, CLT

 

For more tips and tricks on grilling vegetables, Chef and Registered Dietitian Nutritionist, Michele Redmond has a practical and thorough article on her website The Taste Workshop: The Sweet and Meaty Taste Science of Grilled Vegetables.

 

HAPPY GRILLING!

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Fitness
5 of the Most Common Excuses NOT to Exercise (& Clever Solutions!)

Only 5% of adults exercise at least 30 minutes every day, according to the Department of Health and Human Services.  But we know that exercise has a plethora of benefits– literally, life changing results!  Obviously, there are dozens of reasons that keep us stuck in inactive cycles, but allowing ourselves to stay in these unhealthy patterns only sucks us dry of life and energy.

No one can redesign your life schedules or tell you where to slip in exercise.  It’s true- no one understands your life better than you.  But take hope because YOU DO have the power and the ability to redesign it- if you want.

As I have shared before, becoming a mommy gave me fresh revelation and empathy for every working parent trying to figure out how to take care of their physical and mental health (ie. save their sanity!) while still caring for their family well.  I am not sure balance is something you ever really find.  But it is also easy to fall into “martyr syndrome” believing that you are doing the best thing, when in fact, you are compromising your own personal values.

Exercise excuses are personal and yet there tends to be a common thread among many of them.  I know the thoughts I have battled in my own head and the conversations I have had with hundreds of individuals in my office.  So, let’s address the elephant in the room…

These are 5 of the most common excuses NOT to exercise and clever solutions so that you have the power to get un-stuck and active.

 

EXCUSE #1: I will have to wash my hair and reapply makeup.

Sweat isn’t pretty but it is a sign of hard work!  It’s your body’s ingenious way of cooling itself (natural air conditioning!) and detoxification (forget questionable supplements!).  The amount of sweat you produce depends on several factors including your gender, age, fitness level, genetics and how hard you are working. But this natural glisten is quite unappealing to many.

If you are avoiding a workout because you hate to sweat or don’t have time to freshen up, here are a few ideas…

Solution #1:  Work out first thing in the morning, before you shower.  That’s right- get up, put on your tennis shoes, workout and then get ready for your day.  This is one of the easiest ways to avoid the 2nd shower or even worse, attend a function after your wash cloth bath.

Solution #2:  Invest in some sweat-wicking workout apparel.  Make sure that you have clothing that will help your body cool itself.  You can avoid (or at least reduce) feeling yucky and uncomfortable during or after your exercise.

Solution #3:  Break up exercise into shorter chunks during the day.  Research shows that there are still some great benefits by getting small bits.  A 15-minute walk during your lunch break and 15-minutes before you leave for your community group meeting that evening still counts!  This list will astound you what a few minutes of walking can do for you!   

 

EXCUSE #2: It’s no fun.

Let’s face it, who wants to discipline oneself to do something they don’t like 5-6 days per week?  Exercise that makes you run in the other direction (ha!) or volunteer to scrub the baseboards means is not the right kind for you!  

There are literally hundreds of different types of exercise options!  Have you investigated them all?  

Solution #1:  Work out with a friend.  Exercising with a friend can be a great form of entertainment and make the minutes zoom by!

Solution #2:  Listen to a book, podcast or music that engages you so that you are not focused on the time.

Solution #3:  Find fun exercise!  It is out there, you just have to try some things out!  Take a line dancing class, go swing dancing with your partner, sign up for Zumba, try a hula hoop workout, join a mommy walking group, take a shot at a cycling class, …

Solution #4:  Make a list of exercises you don’t like and then a list of activities you might be willing to try.  Work your way down the list until you find 1 or several that you enjoy.

 

EXCUSE #3: I don’t have the time.

Time has been and will continue to be one of the biggest challenges for women to implement an exercise routine, but it doesn’t have to douse your motivation! The problem is that people think exercise has to look a certain way.  The only way it needs to look is the way you want it to look in your life.  

Don’t compare what you can or can’t do to another person.  Just decide what you do is important for you and make it happen.  Can you find an extra 10 minutes in your day?  If that’s all you’ve got, then give it!  Don’t worry if you can’t give more.  The next week, aim for 11 minutes and the following week 12.  Before you know it, you will have “found the time” without making significant changes to your current routines and schedule.

Solution #1:  Don’t allow yourself to watch tv unless you are exercising (or have already exercised that day).

Solution #2:  Exercise while your child is at ball/dance practice.  What a great reminder to get moving- knowing other family members are doing the same!

Solution #3:  Walk every time you are on the phone.  If this works for you, begin to “schedule” phone conversations with friends and family members at specific times of the day so that you can knock out some more steps.

Solution #4: Try incorporating a HIIT routine (high-intensity interval training) into your workouts for high-quality results in little time.  Find out all you need to know to go “kill it” and move on with your day.

 

 EXCUSE #4: I don’t want to embarrass myself at the gym.

When something is foreign or uncomfortable, it’s a natural response to avoid it.  No one wants to feel flustered trying to figure out a weight training machine or look like the “newbie”.  BUT, remember that everyone, yes, everyone was new at one time.  No one escaped learning how to do it, too.  

Solution #1:  Take advantage of gym benefits like a fitness assessment, training on how-to use the equipment and personal trainer sessions.  Many gyms offer FREE services to members so that they understand how to use equipment and set up a routine to get results and do it safely.  Gyms don’t want you floundering either- it’s a liability to them too!  Just ask for some guidance or a session.

Solution #2:  Join a class that can show you how to strength train and use different pieces of equipment so that you know what to do on your own.  These can be a lot of fun!  You can arrive early and share with the instructor that you are newer so that they can be clear and specific as they guide the class.

Solution #3:  Bring a friend that has a bit more knowledge than you!  

Solution #4:  Go to the gym during slow hours.  Ask the front desk attendant about days and times when there are fewer members around.  This reduces distractions and feelings of timidness so that you can focus. 

NOTE: There are plenty of ways to exercise outside of the gym.  If you just don’t want to go to the gym, then don’t!

 

EXCUSE #5: I am too tired after work.

Did you know that moderate exercise can actually improve your energy levels?!  While exerting more energy after work might sound exhausting, it might be just the thing you need to finish your day well.  This research study reviewing over 70 different studies showed that nearly every group studied– healthy individuals, those with chronic conditions like diabetes and heart disease and even cancer patients- benefited from consistent exercise.  

Exercise increases blood flow which means that your heart is pumping oxygen to your brain, muscles, and tissues faster, creating a more alert YOU!  It also promotes the release of neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin, which can improve our mood.  If you want to stay tired, then sit on the couch.  But if you want to feel better, moderate activity just might be the cure.

Solution #1:  Take a quick power nap during your lunch break or directly after work.  This can give you the boost you need to re-energize for a workout.

Solution #2:  Begin with low to moderate intensity exercise as high-intensity exercise can cause more fatigue.  Try walking, biking or yoga.  Gradually ease into a moderate or high-intensity exercise over time, if desired.

Solution #3:  Exercise during your most energetic time of the day.  Can you wake up 30 minutes earlier or go into work 30 minutes later?  Could you extend your lunch break to allow for exercise too?  Would your manager allow you to readjust your work hours so that you can allow exercise to energize you for your work day?

NOTE: Let’s not negate the fact that exercise cannot make up for poor quality sleep and inadequate hours of sleep.  Sleep apnea and other sleep disorders can wreak havoc on your sleep cycles, leaving you tired all day.  Definitely, talk with your physician if you or your spouse feel your sleep is compromised.  

There will always be a “good excuse.”  

 

Many things are good, many things are important, but only a few are essential. — D.Todd Christofferson

 

Are your health and vitality essential to you?

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Faith Life
Milk, a Mop and a Lesson in Meekness

Rushing in the door with groceries in hand and coaching my toddler in out of the heat, I set the bags down on the floor with a “Humph.”  We had just returned from running errands.  It always takes longer to run errands with a 2-year-old.  I know this.  But now, the time was slipping away and I needed to get her lunch fast, before a royal meltdown.  Quickly putting together a meal of cheese melted on whole grain crackers and throwing some grape tomatoes and the last of the blackberries on her plate, I hurriedly sat her down at the table.  I honored her request for a cup of milk without a top- quite common lately.  

We prayed over her meal and then she began eating.  As I turned around to unpack all the bags and put up the cold items, I heard a “Splat!”  

Quickly glancing behind me, I saw her entire cup of milk… on the ground. It had splattered several feet- in every direction.  Frustrated and trying to overlook the fact that I was hungry too, I grabbed the towel and some wet rags to begin cleaning it up.  The self-talk in my head reminded me that only hours earlier her cup of water had splashed all over the floor- one reason we were late getting out the door to run errands.  

(No sense to cry over spilled milk when there is world peace to contemplate.)

(No worries.  Mommy’s got this.)

Ten minutes later I had a hand-cleaned breakfast room floor.  Refilling her cup of milk, I seriously considered putting a lid on it, but she was insistent that she wanted it, “like that”- lid-less.  I complied with her request.  This mom wasn’t going to invite a dreaded meltdown over a silly lid.

I gave her a little pep talk about being careful as she drinks her milk and moved her plate and water glass out of the way so that as she drank the milk the second time, nothing would bump her cup or get in the way.  As I turned back to the kitchen to check on my lunch that was cooking, I heard another “Splat!” followed by a cry.  This time, the milk was all over her, the cushioned chair and the floor.  

It was probably 15 seconds before I even said anything- I just stared.  I was stunned.  Shocked.  Was I really looking at milk covered floor, again?!  As my stomach was growling, me and my 30-week pregnancy belly got back down on the floor to yet again, clean up the spill.  

Fifteen minutes later, this time, she was cleaned up, the floor was ‘mostly’ cleaned and the chair had been wiped down, I stepped back, hoping to get a grip on my frustration.

I guess this is what it means when people say “life is messy.”  It’s unpredictable, filled with obstacles and a little sticky.  It requires a mop- a lot!

I said little to my daughter because I had a feeling that even the proper words wouldn’t have come out with the right spirit or tone.  But, I began to think about how many times God has not only extended grace and forgiveness, but words of kindness and love when I have messed up and then turned right back around and messed up again- the same way.  

Intentional or not, many times I have goofed up.  Maybe it was due to lack of care, attention, priority or simply not using (or seeking) wisdom.  But, in His endearing mercy and grace, my Father comes to my rescue.  He cleans up my mess, wipes me off, speaks into my soul and gives me another chance.  It’s another opportunity to try again, learn a lesson, strengthen my skills.  

He takes a chance every time because I might not get it right.  The next time may not be the one that “sticks”.  I might fall many times before I learn to steady myself and execute a combination of skills and knowledge to conquer the task.  But he doesn’t give up on me.  He doesn’t call me a failure or belittle me or speak under His breath.  My Heavenly Father doesn’t decide that this is one skill I just can’t master.  

 

He loves me.

 

LOVE is…

Patient

Kind

Selfless

Not easily angered

Doesn’t keep a record of wrongs

Always trusts

Always perseveres…

 

What a definition!!  

As I took my daughter upstairs to get her ready for rest time, I was tired and hungry.  I just wanted to get story time over with so I could move on with my tasks for the afternoon.  But, I also realized my response to her in these next minutes were irreplaceable and had the potential to empower or knock her down.  My response towards her mess-ups contributes to how confident she feels about trying again.  When I allow my frustration to lash out, she receives a message, one I don’t want her to receive.  If I want to raise a confident, courageous little girl, I have to coach her to success, not highlight her failures.

I sat her in my lap, gave her a kiss and told her how we are going to try again later to practice her skills.  Thank goodness God keeps encouraging me to ‘try again.’  

Jim Daly recently said on a Focus on the Family broadcast that God gives us kids to humble us.  God keeps giving me opportunities to drink my milk like a big girl.  I get to practice unconditional love again and again.

Cheers to another glass of milk, minus the lid!

 

TRUTH: So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.  –Colossians 3:12-14 (MSG)

 

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