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Beauty Through the Seasons

 

It took a solid year after having my little girl to regain my “close-to” pre-baby body.  No, it will probably never look exactly the same and that is completely okay with me, but as I learned to extend grace to myself through the sloooowwwww weight loss process (nursing did not help me lose weight like it does for some women), I also learned some ways to treat and clothe my body to boost self esteem along the journey.  

If you or someone you know is on a weight loss journey, you don’t have to punish yourself or allow yourself to feel dull and drab just because you have not reached your endpoint.  Love yourself through the process and celebrate you, not your body.  

 

Here are my tips for embracing beauty at any weight:

 

01. Accentuate one feature you have that you like. EVERYONE has a least one great feature and while you are waiting for changes to occur in the rest of your body, I encourage you to dress yourself to accentuate this.  Some examples include, a long slender neck; toned calves; slim ankles; trim waist; hour-glass figure; slender fingers.  If you cannot determine a feature to highlight, ask your spouse or a close friend to tell you.  You can then search online for fashion trends to highlight this feature.  There are several types of shirt necklines that will accentuate a slender neck as well as hair styles.  If you have slim fingers, find some fun and sparkly rings or hand jewelry.  

02. Smile.  A true, authentic smile can warm up a room but more importantly for you, it can elicit pleasurable emotions within you.  It actually produces neurotransmitters that improve your mood.  And, in reality, smiling is contagious!  So, if you smile at someone else, just think of how it is helping their mood in that moment- what a gift!!  Smiling also brings all attention to your face and away from other areas you don’t want attention.  When you flash a warm smile to a friend or even a stranger, you are more attractive and you will feel better.  Skeptical?  Try it and find out!

 

03. Wear colors that you feel good in.  Most of us could identify one or two colors that we feel great wearing.  Maybe these colors highlight your eyes or hair or skin tone.  Maybe these colors give us a certain feeling of confidence or cheer.  If you don’t know, head to the store and begin trying on colors until to find out what makes you feel amazing!

04. Exercise inthe morning.  I find that I feel better about myself and more refreshed, energized, lean and toned if I exercise in the morning.  You may differ in opinion, but this has worked for me.    

05. Get yourself ready every single morning!  As a stay at home mom, I find myself easily walking into the trap of delaying getting ready each morning.  By following a morning routine, just like I would for work, I am telling myself that I am worth the time and effort… AND I feel better about myself all day.  Do yourself a favor, even on the weekends, get yourself ready.  That may include makeup or lip gloss, styling your hair and putting on clothes that fit and flatter.  While wearing gym or lounge clothes all day is okay on occasion, I have found that putting a few minutes into my physical appearance puts a little pep in my step.  

I was truly inspired after reading a Dashing Dish blog post, Creating a Successful Morning Routine.  While my life is somewhat different from hers, she inspired me to create my own successful morning routine, write it down and make it happen.  Although it takes some discipline, I have never felt better about myself and my days as a mom.

 

Embrace it.  Own it.  Live it.  Your beauty is one of a kind and no one can wear it exactly like you.

 

I’ve never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful. ~Author unknown

 

TRUTH: You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.

Song of Songs 4:7 (NIV)

 

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The Waiting Game

 Have you ever found yourself caught up in the waiting game?  That place where you are waiting on God to give clarity, solution, answers, steps, anything that will direct you to the next part of your purpose?  I have.  I completely believe that God has perfect timing and if we choose to trust, He lays opportunities before us at ideal times.  Sometimes we patiently wait and other times we charge ahead and see where our independence will take us.  But when we are waiting, hoping and expecting greatness to come at the perfect moment, I think sometimes we miss all the other opportunities in front of our nose.  In other words, we may be waiting for some answers in one area of our life, but there are probably several areas where we have a green light and should be proactive, moving, serving, giving and loving… while we wait. Psalm 37:3 tells us to “Trust the Lord and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.” (NLT)  Waiting is active.  I think I mistakenly envision waiting as someone sitting on a bench waiting for their companion to arrive OR someone sitting in a waiting room waiting for their name to be called OR someone looking at 3 doors in front of them, waiting for the “right one” to automatically open at just the right time.  But, maybe God’s idea of waiting in one area is His direction to be moving in another area.  Maybe that automatic door just isn’t going to open until we get the other areas (where we do have direction), moving in our lives. For thelast 6-9 months I have been playing the waiting game.  I’ve been seeking the Lord for my next steps in career and how to fulfill my purpose.  And, do you know what He did?  Told me to get moving in other areas of my life.  Pray and trust, pray and trust.  Many of my early days in the process were spent wondering, hoping, praying, having a few pity parties in between, trusting, speaking words of life…  I wasn’t getting much direction, if any- only reassurance in His love and His commitment to me.   “Plans to prosper me and not harm me; to give me hope and a future (Jer 29:11).”  God didn’t stop speaking, he was just giving me direction in areas I wasn’t actively praying about.  When I started seeking Him first and not solutions and steps to my career scenario, I began actually hearing words of direction.  No, they weren’t the words I was seeking, what my heart longed to hear, but they were words of direction:
Get more rest
Invest in some friendships with other moms
Connect in a life group
Enjoy the joys of marriage and turn up the romance
Begin blogging on whole living and looking for opportunities to write elsewhere
Give sacrificially more often In reality, I was actually getting a lot of direction.  When I began turning down the noise of my mind and moving in other areas, I began to bloom. We are all in some type of waiting game in our lives.  It’s tough because for many, if not all of us, waiting is dull, boring and a reminder of what we don’t have.  But I know, from experience, that it is actually an opportunity to move in another area that will produce confidence, satisfaction, fulfillment and character.  And many times it unlocks to door to the answer you have been waiting on.  No, it doesn’t always make sense, but seeking first the kingdom of God is the master key. TRUTH: But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Matthew 6:33 (NIV)

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Fitness Health
One More Step for Strong Bones

According to National Institute of Health, bone mass peaks between ages 20-30, making it crucial for individuals to actively work to maintain bone density throughout the lifespan.  Bone is living tissue, constantly tearing down and building up, but when the tearing down is occurring quicker than the building up, bones lose density and begin to get larger pores or holes, making them less stable and vulnerable to injury. Someone with osteoporosis can sustain a fracture even from a seemingly harmless sneeze.

The National Osteoporosis Foundation reports that 54 million Americans have osteoporosis or weak bones.  It is estimated that 50% of women and 25% of men over age 50 will break a bone due to osteoporosis!  Once a fracture occurs, it can be detrimental, limiting mobility and affecting quality of life.  In fact, some research has demonstrated that individuals sustaining a hip fracture die within 1 year of injury due to complications from the fracture or surgery to repair it.  While many of us may feel strong now, these statistics beg us to question what we are doing now to maintain and build bone strength.

Essentially, during your youth and early adulthood, your body is able to make more bone faster than it is torn down. The Mayo Clinic describes, “The higher your peak bone mass, the more bone you have ‘in the bank’ and the less likely you are to develop osteoporosis as you age.”  While the reasons for the change in bone remodeling with the aging process are still somewhat of a mystery, it is clear that taking a proactive approach now, at any stage in life, can only offer benefit.

There are several known risk factors that contribute to brittle, weak bones- some within and others out of your control:

Uncontrollable

  • Gender- females have higher risk
  • Age- risk increases with age
  • Race- Caucasian and Asian populations have higher risk
  • Family history
  • Frame size- men/women with thin or petite frame have higher risk
  • Increased thyroid hormone
  • Some medical procedures
  • Medical conditions- some gastrointestinal, autoimmune, & endocrine/hormonal disorders

Controllable

  • Activity level- sedentary lifestyle/inactivity raises risk
  • Calcium and vitamin D consumption
  • Tobacco use
  • Alcohol consumption
  • Medications- corticosteroids, proton pump inhibitors and some others* increase risk

*Never discontinue the use of a medication without discussing the risks with your physician.  It is important to find out all contraindications of drugs you are taking and ensure that your physician(s) has a thorough medical history.  If you are concerned about how a medication may be contributing to bone loss or any health related condition, make sure to discuss your concerns with your healthcare provider(s).  It is also important to understand the length of time you will be expected to take the medication and why this is a part of your treatment plan.

So, if you have osteoporosis, low bone density, or any of the risk factors, what can YOU do?  AND, if you have seemingly healthy bones and are strong, able and mobile, what should YOU do to stay that way?

Improving your bone health could be as easy as taking one more step.  While several risk factors are out of your control, your activity level is one that is not only within your control but is modifiable.  It is well know that exercise strengthens muscles, energizes and improves tone, but it also plays a prominent role in building bone mass.

Not only do you want to build strong bones but improving muscular tone, balance and coordination is essential.  Have you ever tripped and caught yourself before you hit the ground?  Training our muscles to act fast and keep us upright can help us prevent falls in the first place.  If you are weak, your muscles have shrunk (atrophy) and will not react as quickly or surely.  Your body is amazingly designed to protect itself; keeping our muscles strong is one way it is able to perform at its peak.

We all want to create body confidence- trusting that it can and will function and perform the way it was designed.

There are several types of exercises you will want to include in your exercise routine, each having a separate but complementary purpose to maintain and increase bone density and reduce the risk of falls:

Weight Bearing Exercise

Exercises that force you to work against gravity and bear your own weight on your legs and feet:

  • Walking
  • Hiking
  • Jogging/running
  • Dancing
  • Climbing stairs
  • Aerobics
  • Jumping rope
  • Soccer

 

Resistance Exercise

Exercises that use your current muscular strength to strengthen muscle mass and build bone; these exercises are site specific so you are only strengthening the bone and muscles you are using in the specific movement. This means that including a variety of strengthening exercises to work major and minor muscle groups is necessary for overall body and bone strength.

  • Weight lifting
  • Exercise band movements

 

Balance Activities

Exercises that take pressure off the lower and upper back and help improve stability and muscle strength to reduce risk of falls.

  • Sitting without slouching
  • Bending from the hip
  • Stabilizing the back when sneezing and coughing

It is a myth that those with osteoporosis should avoid participation in physical activity due to the risk of fractures. On the contrary, becoming more active may actually slow or halt the progression of the disease to maintain current bone health if not improve it.  That is a pretty amazing prescription and it won’t cost a cent!!

Of course, if you have already been diagnosed with osteoporosis, check in with your physician and/or Physical Therapist for exercises that will help you get the most benefits without additional risk of fracture.  And, individuals with heart disease or taking blood glucose or hypertension medications should also seek exercise clearance from a healthcare provider.

Increasing bone density is an on-going activity.  Not only is it important to include a variety of these weight bearing and strengthening activities into your exercise routine, but consistency is necessary.  You will continue to reap benefits if you maintain an exercise routine.  As the saying goes, “use it or lose it.”

According to the Mayo Clinic, “Swimming, cycling and exercising on machines such as elliptical trainers can provide a good cardiovascular workout, but they’re not as helpful for improving bone health.”  This is one reason to include a variety of activities in your exercise routine- you won’t get bored and your bones will benefit.

Exercise is beneficial in all stages of life, but the earlier you start a consistent routine, the more momentum your body has in building bone to keep them strong.  In this technology age, encouraging our kids to get off the couch, put down smart devices and get moving may be absolutely essential for them to avoid this “silent disease” as an adult. We have the opportunity to lead by example.

Of course, exercise is only 1 component to healthy bones. Adequate calcium, vitamin D, and protein are essential nutritional components. Maintaining a healthy weight along with moderate consumption of alcohol and caffeine are fundamental lifestyle elements that contribute to building a solid skeletal foundation.  BUT, if you could do just one thing today, go log some steps, sit up in your chair or go grab your exercise band hiding in your closet… your 80 year old self will thank you.

TRUTH: The righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all; he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken. –Psalm 34:19-20 (NIV)

REFERENCES

  1. American College of Sports Medicine, http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7791573
  2. National Center on Health, Physical Activity and Disability, http://www.nchpad.org/815/4201/Physical~Activity~and~Bone~Health~~Strategies~for~Exercise~Prescription~and~Osteoporosis
  3. National Osteoporosis Foundation, https://www.nof.org/patients/what-is-osteoporosis/
  4. Mayo Clinic, http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/osteoporosis/home/ovc-20207808
  5. Academy of Nutrition of Dietetics, http://www.eatright.org/resource/fitness/training-and-recovery/building-muscle/resistance-train-to-prevent-muscle-loss
  6. Cleveland Clinic, http://www.clevelandclinicwellness.com/conditions/Osteoporosis/Pages/EatRighttoStopBoneLoss.aspx
  7. National Institute of Health
  8. http://www.niams.nih.gov/health_info/bone/Bone_Health/Exercise/default.asp
  9. http://www.niams.nih.gov/health_info/bone/osteoporosis/osteoporosis_ff.asp
  10. http://www.niams.nih.gov/health_info/bone/osteoporosis/bone_mass.asp
  11. American Osteopathic Association, http://www.osteopathic.org/osteopathic-health/about-your-health/health-conditions-library/general-health/Pages/bone-health.aspx
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Health
Enjoy the Labor Day BBQ- Guilt Free

Parties and gatherings are the perfect way to spend your day off.  But, they can also be a source of anxiety, guilt and negative emotions about food and self.  If you are working on some health goals, events can be one of the easiest ways to derail your progress and load up your plate with a serving of guilt, lethargy, doubt.  Don’t give up or throw in the towel.  These are some of my top tips for enjoying your day without hindering your progress.

 

Anticipate the Party Food

While you may not know the exact menu, most individuals are able to anticipate or guess the types of foods that will be available based on the party theme, date, time and hosts.  By simply visualizing the types of foods you believe will be at the party, you can go ahead and begin prioritizing the dishes or types of foods that are important and unimportant to you.  For example, if you are not into desserts, you may decide to skip out on the sweets and give higher priority to eating some BBQ ribs or brisket or other food that tends to be higher in fat and calories.

Visualizing a scenario is a technique that a therapist I know has talked about in a group meeting.  She has mentioned that it is a good way to remove or reduce the emotional response “in the moment” and helps you troubleshoot potential stumbling blocks.

Too often we play “victim” and claim that we had no control over what was served at the gathering.  We use it as an excuse to forgo self-discipline and consume without thought.  Instead, begin to think through what you know about the event and anticipate the mouth-watering dishes before you actually arrive.

 

Maintain Usual Meal Times

BBQs, picnics, parties… may be planned around a meal time (lunch or dinner), but often there is food out and available for consumption before and after the actual meal. These are moments when significant calories can be consumed, especially when we don’t have a plan.

To avoid mindless eating/snacking during the party, choose a time that you are going to eat (often this is identified by the host) and then whether you will need a snack or mini meal several hours before that meal time. For instance, if the party begins at 3 pm but the meal will be served around 6 pm, plan to either eat a small snack upon arrival or before you arrive and then plan NOT to eat anything else until the actual meal time.  By following this simple plan, you can save yourself 100s if not 1000s of calories from snacking on the munchies!!  No joke!!

Once you make your decisions about what time you will eat, then determine how you will spend your time during the party or gathering:

  • Pool fun
  • Chatting with friends and family
  • Getting to know some new friends
  • Networking- you never know!!
  • Games- ping pong, yard games, basketball, volleyball, kickball.  No games to join?  Start up a game- be the proactive person!
  • Helping cook or prepare the tables- sometimes keeping busy preparing items helps us avoid eating during that time

If needed, set an alarm on your watch, phone, etc to alert you when it is time to eat.

 

Eat Regular Size Portions

After you choose a time you are going to eat, serve yourself portions you would at one of your regular meals.  Don’t starve yourself so that you have “room” to load up your plate.  This fact remains constant, every time we overeat, we feel poorly afterward.  It doesn’t matter if you skipped a meal in advance or even ate light the day before, if you overeat, you will feel bad- tired, bloated, lethargic- and often it carries emotional guilt, shame, personal dislike.

It is easy to eat large portions with the size plates available today.  Common disposable plate brands have regular dinner size plates that are 10-12” in diameter!  This is the size of serving platters several decades ago. Look for a smaller plate, maybe the dessert size plate, if available.  If smaller plates are not available, use the Volumetrics approach on the large plate to prevent loading up on high-calorie foods- ½ plate of non-starchy veggies, ¼ plate of complex carbs and healthy starches, ¼ plate of lean protein.  Choose the best you can to fit within each category.

It is also important to make the decision ahead of time that you will only eat 1 plate of food.  While this may sound very simple, giving yourself the flexibility or opportunity to eat more after serving yourself regular size portions is giving an open door for over-consumption.  Keep that door closed.  Eat 1 plate of food and don’t go back for seconds.

 

Choose Your Treat

If you could choose any 1 food or dish that you really look forward to, what would it be?  The answers to this question would vary astronomically depending on who you ask- and that is OK!  Treats are fine to enjoy on occasion and a party is a good occasion, but here are a few thoughts:

  • Choose only 1 treat
  • Keep it portion controlled
  • Eat it in the presence of others (no secretive/hidden eating)

What is really important to you and what is not?  For example, you may find your Aunt Sally’s potato casserole out of this world and a special treat you look forward to every single year.  That’s fine!  Choose to have a small serving (no more than ¼ plate) of this treat food and skip the pie or bread or another high calorie, nutrient deficient foods.  If Uncle Todd’s ribs are to die for, then kindly decline the fried chicken and keep the portion to no more than ¼ of the plate.

There is no shame or guilt in planning a treat.  In fact, you can thoroughly enjoy the treat if you DO plan it.

 

Bring a Healthy Dish

This does not mean salad.  If salad is boring to you, then leave it at home.  Choose a delicious item to bring and if not asked to bring a dish, offer anyway.  This is your perfect opportunity to bring a delicious recipe that tastes amazing but is also nourishing.  Bring a food or dish that you enjoy eating and makes you feel great every time you do.

Here are a few ideas for picnic worthy recipes:

  • Cole slaw- there are many recipes low in fat and some even add chopped apple/fruit, nuts for some added crunch; lighten up by using reduced fat mayo and/or yogurt OR find a vinegar based slaw recipe like this one!
  • Veggie skewers- make these up before arriving and marinate in Italian dressing or your own special marinade; ask the ‘grill master’ to put them on the grill before dinner. Grilling adds addictive smoky flavor AND it goes incredibly well with any grilled meats.
  • Fruit skewers with yogurt dip- a wonderful alternative to heavy, high sugar desserts. Sweet fruit is the perfect way to cap off your meal and very easy to throw together.

Citrus Asian Cole Slaw

 

Plan Alcohol Consumption Before Arriving

How much will you allow yourself to drink?  How will you keep up with the “how much”?  In what ways does your consumption affect your judgment and choices, particularly with food?

  • 12 oz Beer averages 55-200 calories.
  • 5oz wine averages 115 calories
  • 1oz liquor has an average of 65 calories (and this is often mixed with high-calorie juice, sodas, and syrups!)
  • 12oz hard cider can have as much as 250 calories

If you choose to drink, set a limit and keep it.  Don’t let a couple extra mixed drinks or beers lead you astray.  Stay focused.  Stick to your goals. Choose wisely.

As you kick back, relax and enjoy some recreational fun, celebrate your hard work and achievements by honoring yourself with some behaviors that will nourish your body and soul.

No guilt.

No shame.

No work.

Enjoy!

 

TRUTH: That every man should eat and drink and see and enjoy the good of all his labor—it is the gift of God.  —Ecclesiastes 3:13 (AMP)

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Filled to Overflowing

As I blogger, I believe there are 2 ways I can write– out of fullness or emptiness.  When I am full, creative ideas flow, research and stories come to mind, language not only expresses an idea but is meaningful and from the heart.  Sometimes I envision a previous scenario or conversation I have had with a patient, client or even dietitian and then think about how I can provide perspective, create solutions and encourage determination.  When I am full, creativity is not forced, it is the natural progression of my thoughts.  I am giving out of overflow, whether it be overflow of compassion, overflow of knowledge, overflow of love, overflow of joy, …  

 

In those moments, my heart is totally focused on the person this might help rather than the gain I might receive.   

 

But I am aware that sometimes I am writing out of emptiness, when I am searching for words and hunting for the perfect phrases. It is not just about having an idea to capitalize on during my writing but it truly goes deeper to an issue of the heart.  This theory goes beyond writing and I believe invades the way that we live and give.  When I am empty, myself is the one I seek to fill, not my blog readers, friends, or family.  I might give the perception of interest in serving and investing in another person, but at these times, personal recognition is usually the core of the matter.  Admitting this is difficult, but it is true.  

 

The question to ask is, ‘Am I full?’  Whenever I have to think very long on this, the answer is usually pretty clear.  Whether my glass is 38%, 73% or 98% full, if I am not full to overflowing, I don’t believe I can demonstrate the pure love of Christ.  His love is without limits, qualifications or restrictions.  It is endless, unconditional and abounding.  Being full doesn’t lead to a life without stress, but it does allow the overflow to wash over all the chaos to enhance my spiritual perspective.

 

Am I full?  If we are living in a place of emotional and spiritual lack, how can we then nurture the emotional health of someone else with love and tenderness?  How can we give sacrificially?  How can we serve with kindness? It is also only in a place of love, that one can set healthy boundaries because boundaries set in offense only serve to damage the relationship.

 

How do we react when we are NOT full?

  • Give with strings attached

  • Look for personal gain instead of opportunities to serve

  • Play the martyr card

  • Expect a favor in return for a good deed

  • Host a pity party for our sad disappointments

  • Allow fear to keep us in bondage instead of living our dreams

  • Expect someone else to be our savior

 

So, if living a life half full sounds unappealing, how do we become full? Even better, how do we become full to overflow?  I have asked myself this question many times in the last year.  For me, some monumental changes in life- having a baby, leaving my beloved job, and moving to a new city without knowing anyone- rocked my world and made me aware that my cup has been leaking rather than overflowing.  Struggling with discontent, I saw my selfish desires were blooming, rather than my acts of service.  

 

The beauty is that God can’t wait to pour himself back into us… we just have to invite Him. There are still days when I feel a little empty, but they are much fewer than before- primarily because I don’t like it AND feeling full is electric, charging me up and connecting me to the beating heart of God!  

 

Determined to continue the momentum, like water flowing through a faucet into a bathtub full to the brim, I have had to restructure some areas of my life that were draining and reframe my thinking and practices. These are a few things I have learned:

 

ENJOY AND PRACTICE THE PRESENCE OF GOD

Spending time with the Lord is the only way to build relationship.  Listening to a pastor, friend, family member, speaker or spouse tell you about Him does not build connection.  YOU are the only person that has the power to do so.  Thankfully, He is eager to talk to you- every, single, time!  God delights in you!

 

ASK AND EXPECT GOD TO GIVE YOU A SPECIFIC WORD EACH DAY 

God does not waver on whether he wants to speak with you.  He does.  And He will!  Every morning I begin a quiet time confidently expecting that He is ready to give me a word, phrase or verse that will breathe life into me.  I don’t sit down expecting to read a nice Bible story or envision life in Biblical times.  With an open heart, I read the Word and listen for my revelation- my truth that speaks exactly to the circumstances and opportunities before me. God meets me every time.  

 

NO MATTER WHAT, CHOOSE LOVE

Love extends a cord of connection.  It allows you to remain powerful by choosing your response instead of unleashing a torrent of emotions.  Love assumes and believes the best instead of expecting that wrong was knowingly or intentionally done.  Love looks beyond gain, winning and recognition to give, serve and uplift.  Releasing love is exceptionally difficult in a place of pain and when we have been wronged, however, God uses us to demonstrate redeeming love to people.  We are the vehicle he uses.  In fact, you are instrumental to His plan.  As I have changed my perception, understanding that my expression of love to someone is not just the ‘right choice’ but a power tool God will use to redeem that which is broken, I am amazed.  What if my expression of love allows someone else to be filled?!

 

 If you have been leaking, He can patch your holes.  If you are dry, He can refresh the weary.  If you have been looking at life half empty, he can fill you…to overflow.  TRUTH: May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.Romans 15:13

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Raising Healthy Kids Starts at the Dinner Table

Only days ago I was bending over cleaning up yet another mess on the dining room floor, wondering when “it” will get easier.  My daughter hadn’t flung her plate off the tray…this is good… but bits and pieces of each and every meal somehow make it to the floor.  Our dining room has carpet, if you want a better visual of my cleaning efforts.  

 

Sitting down to dinner with a toddler is anything but relaxing.  In fact, all the things I loved about dinner time with my husband before we had McKaela are now irrelevant.  It was fun to get in the kitchen and cook together, chat about our day and share funny stories.  It was nice to converse, plan and even dream a little while eating our meal, not in a rush or on a time schedule.  After having our daughter, everything changed.  

 

For a while I truly resisted family meal time, not because I was ignorant to the benefits of these significant moments every night, but because it was downright exhausting getting a healthy meal on the table at a specific time with my daughter at my ankles during the meal preparation.  And, once we do sit down together, the job doesn’t stop.  It takes a lot of intentional moments to teach a little one how to spoon food into her mouth, keep food on the tray, and ask for “more please”- and that is only if she decides she likes the meal that night.  It is honestly a whole lot easier to feed her alone, giving her full attention, get her off to bed and then sit down at the table for a peaceful dinner with my husband.  

In all the evening chaos, I sometimes wonder how something as simple as family meal time will make a difference in her life.  Truly, my goal is often survival.

 

You may not have a toddler at home or even any kids, but the fact remains that implementing family meals not only has the potential to impact the health of your kids (or grandkids, nieces, and nephews), but also their mental health, success at school and emotional well-being.  Could all those benefits actually be linked to something as simple as gathering around the dinner table?  Is it really worth the effort?  The research says yes…

 

In 2015 a research review article that included data from 14 peer reviewed research papers, the following results demonstrated:

01.  As family meal frequency increased the prevalence of several psychosocial issues decreased including,

  • Disordered eating

  • Alcohol and substance abuse

  • Violent behavior

  • Feelings of depression and thoughts of suicide

02.  As family meal frequency increased, so did

  • Self-esteem

  • Commitment to learning

  • Higher grade point average

 

03.  Females appeared to receive even more benefits from the implementation and frequency of family meals than males.

04.  Lower socioeconomic status and food insecure families eat fewer family meals together, and therefore may be at higher risk of the negative psychosocial issues.

05.  Family meal frequency was inversely related to female girls drive for thinness, body dissatisfaction and concern about body weight.  Essentially, the prevalence of an unhealthy body image decreased as family meals per week increased.

Wow!!

 

According to this review, several of the individual papers found that the frequency of family meals decreased as the child grew into adolescence and adulthood.  They also cited that a commonly reported barrier was busy schedules of the parents and the children.  While the papers do not reveal the specific mechanism(s) of how family meals contribute to improved psychosocial outcomes in youth, they do show a correlation between having a communal meal and emotional, intellectual and mental health.  Could simply sharing a meal together in a warm and loving environment have the potential to help your kids become confident, ambitious dreamers that make a remarkable difference in their circle of influence?  Maybe so.

 

Interestingly, the review data shows that less than half of families in the United States (45%) report high frequency of family meals, whereas 78% of families in Spain reported frequent family meals.  So what are the barriers? What is preventing the American family from sitting down each night to eat together?

  

I resisted family meals for several months because it was just plain easier (and more peaceful) to continue doing it the way we had been doing it.  We find rhythms in life and just get into a groove.  But, there are dozens of other barriers that interfere with family meal time- blending conflicting schedules of multiple family members; media- tv, smart devices, etc; work/school commitments and expectations.  Other reasons include dislike of cooking; different food preferences among family members; lack of time for meal plan and preparations.

 

Reasons vary and some are very difficult to overcome.  But, what if this one commitment has the potential to change the course of your child’s life?

 

Current research suggests that family meals have “positive effects on child and adolescent nutritional outcomes” including improved eating habits and dietary intake, but this research review looks beyond what is served at the dinner table and the resulting eating habits of our kids. “Psychosocial health problems have implications for adult morbidity, mortality and development of other diseases.” Setting our kids up on the right path now could actually affect their health and longevity in the future.  The authors also raise questions of whether the act of family meal time actually contributes to family connection, obtaining social and problem solving skills, and emotional well-being.  

 

Possibly.

Whether your kids are very young, adolescents or teens, making family mealtime a priority may do more than train up healthy eaters, it may be an opportunity to invest values, self-confidence and character.  Maybe your dinnertime efforts are doing more for their physical and mental health than could ever betaught.

 

TRUTH: And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Hebrews 10:24-25 (NIV)

 

Reference

Harrison, M. E., Norris, M. L., Obeid, N., Fu, M., Weinstangel, H., & Sampson, M. (2015). Systematic review of the effects of family meal frequency on psychosocial outcomes in youth. Canadian Family Physician, 61(2), e96–e106.

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