Only days ago I was bending over cleaning up yet another mess on the dining room floor, wondering when “it” will get easier.  My daughter hadn’t flung her plate off the tray…this is good… but bits and pieces of each and every meal somehow make it to the floor.  Our dining room has carpet, if you want a better visual of my cleaning efforts.  

 

Sitting down to dinner with a toddler is anything but relaxing.  In fact, all the things I loved about dinner time with my husband before we had McKaela are now irrelevant.  It was fun to get in the kitchen and cook together, chat about our day and share funny stories.  It was nice to converse, plan and even dream a little while eating our meal, not in a rush or on a time schedule.  After having our daughter, everything changed.  

 

For a while I truly resisted family meal time, not because I was ignorant to the benefits of these significant moments every night, but because it was downright exhausting getting a healthy meal on the table at a specific time with my daughter at my ankles during the meal preparation.  And, once we do sit down together, the job doesn’t stop.  It takes a lot of intentional moments to teach a little one how to spoon food into her mouth, keep food on the tray, and ask for “more please”- and that is only if she decides she likes the meal that night.  It is honestly a whole lot easier to feed her alone, giving her full attention, get her off to bed and then sit down at the table for a peaceful dinner with my husband.  

In all the evening chaos, I sometimes wonder how something as simple as family meal time will make a difference in her life.  Truly, my goal is often survival.

 

You may not have a toddler at home or even any kids, but the fact remains that implementing family meals not only has the potential to impact the health of your kids (or grandkids, nieces, and nephews), but also their mental health, success at school and emotional well-being.  Could all those benefits actually be linked to something as simple as gathering around the dinner table?  Is it really worth the effort?  The research says yes…

 

In 2015 a research review article that included data from 14 peer reviewed research papers, the following results demonstrated:

01.  As family meal frequency increased the prevalence of several psychosocial issues decreased including,

• Disordered eating

• Alcohol and substance abuse

• Violent behavior

• Feelings of depression and thoughts of suicide

02.  As family meal frequency increased, so did

• Self-esteem

• Commitment to learning

• Higher grade point average

 

03.  Females appeared to receive even more benefits from the implementation and frequency of family meals than males.

04.  Lower socioeconomic status and food insecure families eat fewer family meals together, and therefore may be at higher risk of the negative psychosocial issues.

05.  Family meal frequency was inversely related to female girls drive for thinness, body dissatisfaction and concern about body weight.  Essentially, the prevalence of an unhealthy body image decreased as family meals per week increased.

Wow!!

 

According to this review, several of the individual papers found that the frequency of family meals decreased as the child grew into adolescence and adulthood.  They also cited that a commonly reported barrier was busy schedules of the parents and the children.  While the papers do not reveal the specific mechanism(s) of how family meals contribute to improved psychosocial outcomes in youth, they do show a correlation between having a communal meal and emotional, intellectual and mental health.  Could simply sharing a meal together in a warm and loving environment have the potential to help your kids become confident, ambitious dreamers that make a remarkable difference in their circle of influence?  Maybe so.

 

Interestingly, the review data shows that less than half of families in the United States (45%) report high frequency of family meals, whereas 78% of families in Spain reported frequent family meals.  So what are the barriers? What is preventing the American family from sitting down each night to eat together?

  

I resisted family meals for several months because it was just plain easier (and more peaceful) to continue doing it the way we had been doing it.  We find rhythms in life and just get into a groove.  But, there are dozens of other barriers that interfere with family meal time- blending conflicting schedules of multiple family members; media- tv, smart devices, etc; work/school commitments and expectations.  Other reasons include dislike of cooking; different food preferences among family members; lack of time for meal plan and preparations.

 

Reasons vary and some are very difficult to overcome.  But, what if this one commitment has the potential to change the course of your child’s life?

 

Current research suggests that family meals have “positive effects on child and adolescent nutritional outcomes” including improved eating habits and dietary intake, but this research review looks beyond what is served at the dinner table and the resulting eating habits of our kids. “Psychosocial health problems have implications for adult morbidity, mortality and development of other diseases.” Setting our kids up on the right path now could actually affect their health and longevity in the future.  The authors also raise questions of whether the act of family meal time actually contributes to family connection, obtaining social and problem solving skills, and emotional well-being.  

 

Possibly.

Whether your kids are very young, adolescents or teens, making family mealtime a priority may do more than train up healthy eaters, it may be an opportunity to invest values, self-confidence and character.  Maybe your dinnertime efforts are doing more for their physical and mental health than could ever betaught.

 

TRUTH: And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Hebrews 10:24-25 (NIV)

 

Reference

Harrison, M. E., Norris, M. L., Obeid, N., Fu, M., Weinstangel, H., & Sampson, M. (2015). Systematic review of the effects of family meal frequency on psychosocial outcomes in youth. Canadian Family Physician, 61(2), e96–e106.